Post by Rainspark on May 5, 2009 21:01:31 GMT -5
Heathertail was out hunting, standing on a small rise on the moor. Her fur tingled as the wind blew, rufffling her light brown pelt. It was a warm day, and rabbit scent was thick in the air. She had already caught two and had paused for a break. She turned her gaze towards the dark patch in the distance, where the woodland of WindClan territory lay, and the ThunderClan border. She felt her heart clench as it always did when she thought of ThunderClan. Her anger wasn't felt towards the whole Clan however... no, just a certain golden-pelted warrior with eyes the color of the rising sun. Lionblaze...
She could hardly believe they had been best friends at one time, sneaking off at night, breaking the warrior code, just to meet in those secret tunnels. She was surprised to hear herself purr at that. She had been Heatherstar then, leader of DarkClan. Her loyal deputy, Lionclaw, at her side...
Ha! Loyal! That was hardly the word for the fox-hearted, mouse-brained cat. He had betrayed her, and even worse, accused her of revealing the tunnels' secret! Ruefully, she reminded herself he had a point though. He had been right to end it. How could they be loyal warriors of their Clan when they were always breaking the code, everything they stood for? Still, the pain of it stabbed her head again, and she felt a fresh wave of loss.
........
Heathertail didn't know it, but at the exact same time, Lionblaze was thiking the same thing. He was in the middle of ThunderClan territory, a freshly killed mouse beneath his paws. He stood right in front of the tunnel's entrance. It was blocked of course. Many seasons ago, his sister Hollyleaf had dissappeared into the cave, and never returned. He had Jayfeather had seen it all...
Yes, those tunnels held both good and bad memories. He missed Heathertail, even though their friendship had been so long ago... He had moved on. Had he loved her once? He knew he had, because though he loved Cinderheart dearly, and would give his life for her, his feelings for her weren't like the fire that had burned in him when he was Lionpaw and she had been Heatherpaw. He hadn't realized it then, but sayin good-bye had only made that warm fire burn him. How had he survived it? Of course, he had a lot to deal with then, with the prophecy and Tigerstar. But all that was over now, in the past, and those emotions were swept back to him in that moment with the breeze...
But that was just it. it was the past, and he moved on long ago. Of course, he still felt guilty they way he had treated Heathertail afterwards, accusing her of telling the secret of the tunnels. But at the time, all the evidence had pointed to him. And perhaps part of that anger came from the pain of losing her. He didn't regret his choice, but still... he wished things could have been different.
Lionblaze buried his prey to collect later, and continued his search for prey. But still, his thought remained with the WindClan she-cat... Her light brown tabby fur, her heather-blue eyes... He missed her voice and purr...
But she belonged to Breezepelt now. In fact, just a few moons ago, Onestar had announced the birth of their kits...
They were happy now. And if his friendship with Heatherpaw had meant anything to him, he would want her to be happy. He didn't want to be enemies, but it was too late for that. The last time he had seen her, her blue eyes had been dark with hatred towards him, and he remembered how he couldn't feel anything in return. Again, his heart had a huge hole in it, and time had slowly covered it up, but it was still there, hidden but hollow, and all this memories and thoughts of her made it throb and he couldn't hold back a gasp of pain. What was with him today? What could he do about it. He was way too late... Mate and kits too late...
He found himself heading towards WindClan and stopped, furious at himself. Where was he going? He knew in his head that there was nothing he could do now. But his heart told him he had to try...
Maybe if he could just say he was sorry, it would bring some peace of mind. She probably had healed up moons ago, he reminded himself, freaked out my the uncontrollable flutter of hope he felt in his heart. What, did he really expect Heathertail to forgive him and take him back? Continue where they left off, and be good friends? If he knew Heathertail, rekindling old bonds was the last thing she would do. More like rip his fur off or claw out his eyes!
He cautiously slipped over the WindClan border, and stalked through the grass, keeping low but alert. He knew he was crazy, how totally pointless this mission was. If he didn't find her out on the moor, would he just go to the camp and say, "Oh, can I talk to Heathertail please?" Breezepelt would claw his ears off, before any other cat could!
But StarClan must have been watching him, because there, on the hill before him, stood the WIndClan warrior he had been seeking...
Almost at the same instant she spotted him, and her eyes flashed with the fire he had feared.
She charged towards him, and Lionblaze tensed, preparing for her attack that was sure to come. But she slowed down a few tail-lengths away, and stopped right before him.
"What do you want?" she hissed.
Lionblaze opened his mouth, and closed it, suddenly not sure what to say. What an idiot he was!
"Well?" Heathertail growled. "I have to get back to my kits! I can't stand around all day! What do you want? To steal more catmint, or to accuse me of something else, or..."
'I came to apologize!" Lionblaze burted out.
Heathertail's blue eyes widened with shock. She regained her composure, and looked wary. "What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean. I'm sorry for everything! For tearing us apart, for betraying our friendship, for accusing you of telling our secret. For being a jerk. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And if you never forgive me, I understand, and I probably should just go..." he turned to leave but Heathertail blocked him with her tail.
"Wait..." he turned to look at her and noticed the slightest gleam in her eyes.
"You forgot the part where you were a mouse-brain. You should apologize for that too!"
He stared at her, confused, when suddenly she thrust her muzzle forward, touching her nose to his. He jumped back in shock. She purred in amusement, and gazed at him with an expression he didn't expect... and with emotions he couldn't bear...
"Lionblaze, you don;t know how long I've waited to hear that. But I'm glad you finally worked up the courage to say it. I forgive you, and I too must apologize. For all the hurtful things I've said and done. I was no better."
"Don't say that..." began Lionblaze but she shook him away impatiently and continued. "When you left you ripped me open, and I knew those wounds would never heal completely. Lionblaze, those moons we spent together as apprenticed, we may have thought we were just playing, but what we did was left our mark on each other. We rubbed off part of ourselves onto the other, and nothing, no matter what any cat says or what StarClan thinks, they can't change it or reverse it. It hurt when you said good-bye, but I understood why you did it..."
Lionblaze's eyes glowed. "I... can't believe this Heathertail! I didn't expect you to be so cool about it, and..."
Heathertail flicked her tail to his mouth, silencing him again. She stood up and padded closer, until her nose was only a whisker length away, and her eyes gazed into his. He thought he would drown in those blue depths when she whispered. "I never got to tell you how I felt. At that time, I was ready to cross the earth for you. I would break all of StarClan's rules to see you. It hurt the most because I knew you wouldn't do the same. You were the sensible one."
Lionblaze murmered, "There are no boundries in StarClan..."
"I never got to tell you how much I loved you." Heathertail finished, and padded that final step forward, until their noses with touching in a tender kiss. Lionblaze felt dizzy and so full of happines he was sure he would faint or something, and he wished this moment could last forever. But of course it couldn't... He had to get back home. He hated to be the one to break it, afraid it would remind Heathertail of how he was always the one to ruin it. But she didn't say anything.
"I know I shouldn't have done that, but I had too. I had to know how it felt... It was different. I think... well, Lionblaze, it's too late to repair it all. My heart was shattered but... well, Breezepelt pieced me back together, and... I'm sorry." she looked close to tears and Lionblaze added quickly. "Don't be sorry. I had always wondered too, and... well, we HAVE moved on, as much as we hate to realize it. A part of me will always be yours, and i will always cling onto the pieve of you, but we are too late. We have mates and kits of our own..."
Heathertail nodded, the sorrow still in her eyes. She tried to push it away, and purr softly, "But we can still be friends, right?"
She knew the answer before he could say it, her blue eyes full of hurt. She unsheathed her claws, but Lionblaze didn't move. He looked guilty and sympathetic, but once again, he knew it was right. Not by his heart, but with his head. "Heathertail, we both know friends would never be enough..."
She choked back her sobs, and Lionblaze wrapped his tail around her, comforting them both. At last she whispered, "You are right, Lionblaze, of course you are. You always are. Warriors can't follow their hearts..."
'That's not true." Lionblaze objected. "It's just, well... we can't listen this time."
Heathertail stood up, and glanced in the direction of her camp. "It's best I be going. My kits need me..."
"Yeah, Cinderheart will be getting hungry," Lionblaze sighed. He felt awkward, not sure how to say good-bye again, when she whispered, "Remember, things are different in StarClan. Take care of yourself, Lionblaze... til we meet again." She held his gaze for a long time, as if nothing else mattered, their eyes locked, full of love, pain, and dispair. This was it. They had come together to decide on this. But it was a better ending, not necessarily happy, but one they could live with."
"Good-bye, Heathertail," Lionblaze whispered, and turned away, his back to his WindClan she-cat. After a few steps he broke into a run, not looking back. He suddenly felt so much freer, as light as a feather...
........
The full moon blazed over the Island, turning every cat's pelt to a shade of silver. Mews and purrs of excited cats, greeting their friends and exchanging gossip, echoed slightly. It was a happy atmosphere. But none were happy then the three newest ThunderClan apprentices, Fawnpaw, Sparkpaw, and Jaypaw, kits of Lionblaze and Cinderheart. They gazed around with wide, wondering eyes, flickers of fear in their gazes as dark ShadowClan warriors prowled by. There was a loud yowl from the Tree, as Onestar announced the beginning of the Gathering. The Clan cats quieted, and Onestar opened his jaws to begin his announcements, when suddenly there was a loud yowl. "OUCH!"
All the cats turned to stare at a small golden tabby apprentice. Sparkpaw, who was glaring at a ginger tabby from WindClan.
"Well, excuse ME, move your tail!" the other appentice retorted.
All the cats turned back to Onestar, who looked slightly annoyed, and all eyes were on him as he continued.
"You could've watched where you were going," Sparkpaw growled in a low voice, ignoring the hisses and glared from the other warriors around him, warning them to be quiet.
"Well I didn't, so deal with it," the cat growled.
"Blazepaw, don't be so nasty!" Heathertail scolded. Lionblaze looked up, surprised. She dipped her head in a polite gesture, then turned around to listen to her leader.
"Sparkpaw, just one day, can you NOT get into trouble?" Lionblaze whispered, glancing at his son.
"He started it!" Sparkpaw hissed, and Lionblaze let it go. Bronzepaw and Jaypaw sat behind the bickering apprentices. Bronzepaw leaned in and whispered, "Please excuse my brother, he's a mouse-brain. My name is Bronzepaw, and this is our other brother, Jaypaw. Who are you?" the golden brown she-cat was contend to let by-gones be by-gones, but Blazepaw bristled again, as if to make some rude comment when a dark gray she-cat popped up beside him. "he is Blazepaw, MY mouse-brained brother! I'm Ravenpaw by the way."
Bronzepaw purred.
Sparkpaw stared at the WindClan she-cat. Blazepaw's sister? Wow, didn't expect that. She's kinda pretty...
He brushed past Blazepaw, who spat, and sat down beside the gray WindClan apprentice. The two whispered back and forth the whole gathering, sometimes bursting into loud fits of laughter, only to be hissed at and yowled at by the warriors around them. As Onestar closed up the gathering, Bronzepaw and Jaypaw padded over to their brother, and poked him. "Are you going to stay here all night?"
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Sparkpaw mewed crossly.
Lionblaze stood up, and was looking around him, trying to find his Clanmates, preparing to leave.
'You might wanna watch those two," whispered a voice. Lionblaze turned around, and followed Heathertail's gaze. He saw the two young cats, and sighed. Who did they remind him of? He knew then and there he would never force Sparkpaw to make the choice he had, if it ever got that far. His son was free to make his own decision. Lionblaze flicked his tail, and the golden furred apprentice hurried after him. Lionblaze had faced many tough decisions, but in the end, he regretted nothing. He only hoped the same would hold true for Sparkpaw.
She could hardly believe they had been best friends at one time, sneaking off at night, breaking the warrior code, just to meet in those secret tunnels. She was surprised to hear herself purr at that. She had been Heatherstar then, leader of DarkClan. Her loyal deputy, Lionclaw, at her side...
Ha! Loyal! That was hardly the word for the fox-hearted, mouse-brained cat. He had betrayed her, and even worse, accused her of revealing the tunnels' secret! Ruefully, she reminded herself he had a point though. He had been right to end it. How could they be loyal warriors of their Clan when they were always breaking the code, everything they stood for? Still, the pain of it stabbed her head again, and she felt a fresh wave of loss.
........
Heathertail didn't know it, but at the exact same time, Lionblaze was thiking the same thing. He was in the middle of ThunderClan territory, a freshly killed mouse beneath his paws. He stood right in front of the tunnel's entrance. It was blocked of course. Many seasons ago, his sister Hollyleaf had dissappeared into the cave, and never returned. He had Jayfeather had seen it all...
Yes, those tunnels held both good and bad memories. He missed Heathertail, even though their friendship had been so long ago... He had moved on. Had he loved her once? He knew he had, because though he loved Cinderheart dearly, and would give his life for her, his feelings for her weren't like the fire that had burned in him when he was Lionpaw and she had been Heatherpaw. He hadn't realized it then, but sayin good-bye had only made that warm fire burn him. How had he survived it? Of course, he had a lot to deal with then, with the prophecy and Tigerstar. But all that was over now, in the past, and those emotions were swept back to him in that moment with the breeze...
But that was just it. it was the past, and he moved on long ago. Of course, he still felt guilty they way he had treated Heathertail afterwards, accusing her of telling the secret of the tunnels. But at the time, all the evidence had pointed to him. And perhaps part of that anger came from the pain of losing her. He didn't regret his choice, but still... he wished things could have been different.
Lionblaze buried his prey to collect later, and continued his search for prey. But still, his thought remained with the WindClan she-cat... Her light brown tabby fur, her heather-blue eyes... He missed her voice and purr...
But she belonged to Breezepelt now. In fact, just a few moons ago, Onestar had announced the birth of their kits...
They were happy now. And if his friendship with Heatherpaw had meant anything to him, he would want her to be happy. He didn't want to be enemies, but it was too late for that. The last time he had seen her, her blue eyes had been dark with hatred towards him, and he remembered how he couldn't feel anything in return. Again, his heart had a huge hole in it, and time had slowly covered it up, but it was still there, hidden but hollow, and all this memories and thoughts of her made it throb and he couldn't hold back a gasp of pain. What was with him today? What could he do about it. He was way too late... Mate and kits too late...
He found himself heading towards WindClan and stopped, furious at himself. Where was he going? He knew in his head that there was nothing he could do now. But his heart told him he had to try...
Maybe if he could just say he was sorry, it would bring some peace of mind. She probably had healed up moons ago, he reminded himself, freaked out my the uncontrollable flutter of hope he felt in his heart. What, did he really expect Heathertail to forgive him and take him back? Continue where they left off, and be good friends? If he knew Heathertail, rekindling old bonds was the last thing she would do. More like rip his fur off or claw out his eyes!
He cautiously slipped over the WindClan border, and stalked through the grass, keeping low but alert. He knew he was crazy, how totally pointless this mission was. If he didn't find her out on the moor, would he just go to the camp and say, "Oh, can I talk to Heathertail please?" Breezepelt would claw his ears off, before any other cat could!
But StarClan must have been watching him, because there, on the hill before him, stood the WIndClan warrior he had been seeking...
Almost at the same instant she spotted him, and her eyes flashed with the fire he had feared.
She charged towards him, and Lionblaze tensed, preparing for her attack that was sure to come. But she slowed down a few tail-lengths away, and stopped right before him.
"What do you want?" she hissed.
Lionblaze opened his mouth, and closed it, suddenly not sure what to say. What an idiot he was!
"Well?" Heathertail growled. "I have to get back to my kits! I can't stand around all day! What do you want? To steal more catmint, or to accuse me of something else, or..."
'I came to apologize!" Lionblaze burted out.
Heathertail's blue eyes widened with shock. She regained her composure, and looked wary. "What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean. I'm sorry for everything! For tearing us apart, for betraying our friendship, for accusing you of telling our secret. For being a jerk. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And if you never forgive me, I understand, and I probably should just go..." he turned to leave but Heathertail blocked him with her tail.
"Wait..." he turned to look at her and noticed the slightest gleam in her eyes.
"You forgot the part where you were a mouse-brain. You should apologize for that too!"
He stared at her, confused, when suddenly she thrust her muzzle forward, touching her nose to his. He jumped back in shock. She purred in amusement, and gazed at him with an expression he didn't expect... and with emotions he couldn't bear...
"Lionblaze, you don;t know how long I've waited to hear that. But I'm glad you finally worked up the courage to say it. I forgive you, and I too must apologize. For all the hurtful things I've said and done. I was no better."
"Don't say that..." began Lionblaze but she shook him away impatiently and continued. "When you left you ripped me open, and I knew those wounds would never heal completely. Lionblaze, those moons we spent together as apprenticed, we may have thought we were just playing, but what we did was left our mark on each other. We rubbed off part of ourselves onto the other, and nothing, no matter what any cat says or what StarClan thinks, they can't change it or reverse it. It hurt when you said good-bye, but I understood why you did it..."
Lionblaze's eyes glowed. "I... can't believe this Heathertail! I didn't expect you to be so cool about it, and..."
Heathertail flicked her tail to his mouth, silencing him again. She stood up and padded closer, until her nose was only a whisker length away, and her eyes gazed into his. He thought he would drown in those blue depths when she whispered. "I never got to tell you how I felt. At that time, I was ready to cross the earth for you. I would break all of StarClan's rules to see you. It hurt the most because I knew you wouldn't do the same. You were the sensible one."
Lionblaze murmered, "There are no boundries in StarClan..."
"I never got to tell you how much I loved you." Heathertail finished, and padded that final step forward, until their noses with touching in a tender kiss. Lionblaze felt dizzy and so full of happines he was sure he would faint or something, and he wished this moment could last forever. But of course it couldn't... He had to get back home. He hated to be the one to break it, afraid it would remind Heathertail of how he was always the one to ruin it. But she didn't say anything.
"I know I shouldn't have done that, but I had too. I had to know how it felt... It was different. I think... well, Lionblaze, it's too late to repair it all. My heart was shattered but... well, Breezepelt pieced me back together, and... I'm sorry." she looked close to tears and Lionblaze added quickly. "Don't be sorry. I had always wondered too, and... well, we HAVE moved on, as much as we hate to realize it. A part of me will always be yours, and i will always cling onto the pieve of you, but we are too late. We have mates and kits of our own..."
Heathertail nodded, the sorrow still in her eyes. She tried to push it away, and purr softly, "But we can still be friends, right?"
She knew the answer before he could say it, her blue eyes full of hurt. She unsheathed her claws, but Lionblaze didn't move. He looked guilty and sympathetic, but once again, he knew it was right. Not by his heart, but with his head. "Heathertail, we both know friends would never be enough..."
She choked back her sobs, and Lionblaze wrapped his tail around her, comforting them both. At last she whispered, "You are right, Lionblaze, of course you are. You always are. Warriors can't follow their hearts..."
'That's not true." Lionblaze objected. "It's just, well... we can't listen this time."
Heathertail stood up, and glanced in the direction of her camp. "It's best I be going. My kits need me..."
"Yeah, Cinderheart will be getting hungry," Lionblaze sighed. He felt awkward, not sure how to say good-bye again, when she whispered, "Remember, things are different in StarClan. Take care of yourself, Lionblaze... til we meet again." She held his gaze for a long time, as if nothing else mattered, their eyes locked, full of love, pain, and dispair. This was it. They had come together to decide on this. But it was a better ending, not necessarily happy, but one they could live with."
"Good-bye, Heathertail," Lionblaze whispered, and turned away, his back to his WindClan she-cat. After a few steps he broke into a run, not looking back. He suddenly felt so much freer, as light as a feather...
........
The full moon blazed over the Island, turning every cat's pelt to a shade of silver. Mews and purrs of excited cats, greeting their friends and exchanging gossip, echoed slightly. It was a happy atmosphere. But none were happy then the three newest ThunderClan apprentices, Fawnpaw, Sparkpaw, and Jaypaw, kits of Lionblaze and Cinderheart. They gazed around with wide, wondering eyes, flickers of fear in their gazes as dark ShadowClan warriors prowled by. There was a loud yowl from the Tree, as Onestar announced the beginning of the Gathering. The Clan cats quieted, and Onestar opened his jaws to begin his announcements, when suddenly there was a loud yowl. "OUCH!"
All the cats turned to stare at a small golden tabby apprentice. Sparkpaw, who was glaring at a ginger tabby from WindClan.
"Well, excuse ME, move your tail!" the other appentice retorted.
All the cats turned back to Onestar, who looked slightly annoyed, and all eyes were on him as he continued.
"You could've watched where you were going," Sparkpaw growled in a low voice, ignoring the hisses and glared from the other warriors around him, warning them to be quiet.
"Well I didn't, so deal with it," the cat growled.
"Blazepaw, don't be so nasty!" Heathertail scolded. Lionblaze looked up, surprised. She dipped her head in a polite gesture, then turned around to listen to her leader.
"Sparkpaw, just one day, can you NOT get into trouble?" Lionblaze whispered, glancing at his son.
"He started it!" Sparkpaw hissed, and Lionblaze let it go. Bronzepaw and Jaypaw sat behind the bickering apprentices. Bronzepaw leaned in and whispered, "Please excuse my brother, he's a mouse-brain. My name is Bronzepaw, and this is our other brother, Jaypaw. Who are you?" the golden brown she-cat was contend to let by-gones be by-gones, but Blazepaw bristled again, as if to make some rude comment when a dark gray she-cat popped up beside him. "he is Blazepaw, MY mouse-brained brother! I'm Ravenpaw by the way."
Bronzepaw purred.
Sparkpaw stared at the WindClan she-cat. Blazepaw's sister? Wow, didn't expect that. She's kinda pretty...
He brushed past Blazepaw, who spat, and sat down beside the gray WindClan apprentice. The two whispered back and forth the whole gathering, sometimes bursting into loud fits of laughter, only to be hissed at and yowled at by the warriors around them. As Onestar closed up the gathering, Bronzepaw and Jaypaw padded over to their brother, and poked him. "Are you going to stay here all night?"
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Sparkpaw mewed crossly.
Lionblaze stood up, and was looking around him, trying to find his Clanmates, preparing to leave.
'You might wanna watch those two," whispered a voice. Lionblaze turned around, and followed Heathertail's gaze. He saw the two young cats, and sighed. Who did they remind him of? He knew then and there he would never force Sparkpaw to make the choice he had, if it ever got that far. His son was free to make his own decision. Lionblaze flicked his tail, and the golden furred apprentice hurried after him. Lionblaze had faced many tough decisions, but in the end, he regretted nothing. He only hoped the same would hold true for Sparkpaw.